WHO DO WE CHOOSE TO LOVE?

How many people cross our path in a life time? Well, if you are reading this, you are alive. If you are alive it means you were born. If you were born you have or had a mother. That’s one person. Now, add in the doctors and nurses that were there when you left the comfort of your mother’s womb plus a dad who, hopefully, was still on the scene. Then include a whole slew of relatives (you had no choice in the matter) forever connected to you through your family tree.
Over the course of your life, hundreds, even thousands, of people will smile at you, frown at you, or even ignore you all together. You will have close relationships, break them, and just plain lose touch with people that, for one moment in time, were part of your life. A few, a very select few, will enter your life and stay. Stay till either you bite the big one or they kick the bucket. Very few will be with us at our end. Will they be the right few? Will they be people of honor? Of character? Or, will they be leeches, bottom feeders that are there to pick over our bones without a passing thought or moment of remorse?
We make choices every single day. We decide what to wear, what to eat, where to work, where to live, and where to be. Some people spend more time picking out a new pair of tennis shoes then picking with who they share their time.
In a recent obesity study report, carried by all the news services, you have more than a 70% chance of being overweight if your friends are overweight. Who we hang out with matters and not just for our bottom line. Our friends are a reflection of who we are. Our spouses are a reflection of our inner soul. Einstein once said “Without someone to love life is miserable.” But the question is who? Who do we choose to love? How do we know the difference between Mr. or Mrs. Right vs. Mr. or Mrs. Right Now? The saying goes, “ Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer,” but leaves out how to differentiate between the two.
Seriously, if we are going to make it in this world or have a fighting chance of making it, we have to know who to trust. In a book that I read a while back, “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” by Matthew Kelly, the key to picking soulmates, bunkmates or roommates lies in one very obvious fact and that is “People aren’t going to treat you any better than they treat themselves.” If your friends are irresponsible drunks, if their lives are out of control, if they lie to themselves…well guess what? They are going to create chaos in your life! People who have lost control over their lives are going to be looking for company. You can either hop in the car with them and go for a ride, or step away from the vehicle.
So very simply, that’s rule #1, “Unless you want your life to go down the toilet, avoid others who are flushing their own life away.” Rule #2, “Perceptions are deceiving.” It’s always calmest right before the storm. There are a lot of “stable looking” individuals out there that are barely hanging on- people with no savings; cars that need repair held together with duct tape; paycheck to paycheck people. When the ground opens to swallow up these people, you don’t want to be standing nearby, much less next to them. Rule #3, “Can you trust this individual?” If there is a pause or hesitation in answering this question, then you can’t. As I said before, people that let themselves down, will take you down.
That leaves rule #4. “Do they have your best interest at heart?” And I’m not just talking lip service. Do they go out of their way to help you, assist you in being a better person without looking for a hand-out? Look at your past experiences with the person you say loves you or has your back. Do they? Do their actions reflect self interest or devotion? Jane Fonda once said to Lindsey Lohan after her third or fourth arrest for DWI and cocaine possession “This isn’t a dress rehearsal, you only get one life.” If we could all remember that, we might be a little more careful with who we travel down the road of life.

DISCONTENTMENT

Sometimes it is difficult to find contentment in the life that has been assigned to you. The grass always looks greener on the other side. For this reason, if it is your desire to be a virtuous woman, a godly wife and mother, you cannot be too careful to guard against high expectations. While there is certainly nothing wrong with possessing an ideal of peaceful and harmonious home life, there is the danger of allowing those beautiful dreams to spoil for you what should otherwise have been sweet contentment in your present situation. For then comes the rain cloud of discouragement, because your wonderful vision may not be your present and daily reality.  You may be one who feels unappreciated, neglected, or even rejected. Possibly you do not think your family is as godly as you would desire. Maybe you do not think your father is taking enough spiritual leadership in the family. Perhaps you are simply tired of living the same life year after year. There are many reasons why seemingly unmet needs can cause frustration with your present circumstances and produce a restless longing for change. You must guard against this kind of thinking, because a discontented heart quickly leads to covetousness. The important thing to remember is that there are no needs that have been left unmet. Our life may not change in the way we would want it too, but that does not mean we cannot have contentment! You must accept your present circumstances the way they are. You must accept the people in those circumstances and, yes, even accept yourself with all of the flaws that a sinner saved only by grace can possess! It always seems like there is someone else who looks like they have a more exciting life. Maybe their family appears more godly than your own. A wise friend of my mother's had an interesting thought. She said that although many families seem to be very godly, every family has its own area of weakness and blind spots. She pointed out that even if they look very spiritual, we do not know everything that goes on in their home, therefore, there are probably many things we would not approve of in their life, if we knew about them. We must not compare our family with the families of others. The Bible says “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise.” (II Cor. 10:12). God has placed you in your particular family for a specific reason. There may be areas in which He desires you to grow. A situation that provokes the temptation for a bad response frequently presents an opportunity for character development and growth in the Lord. “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be whole and complete, wanting nothing.” (James 1:2-4). The best place for us to learn the things God wants to teach us is in the home setting. There, if you fail the test, the ones who love you are quick to forgive. In the world, people are not apt to be so understanding. The world can be a harsh teacher. You can thank the Lord for the imperfections in your family, because they give you the chance to learn and build character, while providing a way to demonstrate day after day a Christ-like attitude in spite of frustration. “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (I Pet. 1:7. “But He giveth more grace. Wherefore He saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:6-7). True joy and contentment are found deep within our spirit, and the only sure way to possess them is through a change of heart. The solution to your problem is found at the feet of our Savior. “Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness”. (Psalms 107:8-9).